100 Killer Whatsapp Status

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100 Killer Whatsapp Status

1] My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.

2] Hey there….. be there.

3] One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp…..and his wife added last seen feature :) ;)

4] One person’s LOL is another’s WTF!

5] You treated me like an option so i left you like an choice.              

6] I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.

7] since 1910.

8] Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary mind….Bill gates:brilliant mind…..ME:Never Mind.

9] Due to tonight’s lack of sleep,tomorrow is cancelled.

10] Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.

11] Sleep till you’re hungry….Eat till you’re sleepy.

12] Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’r donating blood.

13] I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended. Please be patient and I’ll get to you shortly.

14] Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to Monday????

15] I like to take road less traveled…..helps me to avoid traffic.

16] Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains

17] I can see you checking my whatsapp status. B)

18] God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me.

19] I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

20] Second chances are for losers….either we do it in first place or live it for others.

21] battery about to die.

22] fun is like life insurance.The older you get..the more it cost’s.

22] Status under construction.

23] No status available.

24] Life is short, chat fast..!!!

25] Life is too short to be updating status

26] Too busy to update a status. 0_o

27] formula for success…….under promise and over deliver…….

28] We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police.

29] Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my whatsapp status….

30] I wish I had Google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.

31] Keep moving! Nothing new to read…

32] Whatsapp status is loading.

33] Error: status unavailable

34] Waiting for wi-fi network.

35] When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

36] Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else.

37] I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.

38] Not always available, try your luck ;)

39] You can’t put a value on a human life,but my wife’s life insurance company made a pretty fair offer.

40] Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.

41] Sorry vegetarians we can’t pretend

42] They say we learn from our mistakes; so I m making as many as possible!!!Soon I will be a genius :-B

43] I will marry the girl who look as pretty as in her Aadhaar card.

44] I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”

45] Give a man fish and you’ll feed him for a day.Teach a man to fish and you can then stick him with a huge amount of fishing School loans.

46] Life is short talk fast

47] I started out with nothing and i still have most of it:)

48] I took IQ test …..results were negative

49] I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.

50] Hakuna Matata!!–the great motto to live life!!

51] Your whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren't you texting me

52] I am not questioning your honor. I am denying its existence.

53] My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.

54] Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”

55] I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here

56] I’m listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much stupidity all at once!!

57] Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street’

58] You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution, now fucking act like it.

59] I’ll try being nicer if you start being smarter.

60] I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

61] Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

62] I meditate for 20 min every morning …..It helps reduce stress of being 20 min late for everything

63] Better the vacuum cleaner the better it sucks!!

64] If I had a gun with two bullets and i was with Hitler,bin laden and you[insert your ex or your enemy’s name],I would shoot you twice.

65] I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but at least i never commented “Cute pic dear “on girls profile picture

66] A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

67] I've been too fucking busy and vice verse

68] Life is too short. Don't waste it removing pen drive safely.

69] I wish i could trade my heart for another liver …..so that i can drink more and care less

70] Intelligence is like underwear. It’s important that you have it but there’s no need to show it off.

71] I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

72] Coins Always Make Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent! ?that’s why i’m always Calm & Silent

73] Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life :P

74]A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

75] I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!

76] Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.

77] I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P

78] Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!”

79] When you feel insulted I’m just describing you.

80] Excuse me..I found something under my shoes. .ohh its your Attitude.

81] Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.

82] I’m cool but global warming made me hot

83] When i am good i am best , when i am bad i am worst.

84] Without me its just awso.

85] Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it

86] I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

87] I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

88] 100,000 sperms and i was the fastest ;)

89] I like to always carry two sacks around. That way, if someone asks me to lend them a hand, I can say, “Sorry, got these sacks”.

90] Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you

91] I don’t like cocaine, i just like the way it smells;)

92] I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.

93] Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

94] One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

95] It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.

96] Dear Mario…..I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend.Now, you help me to save mine.

97] Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.

98]Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

99] We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

100] I Loved A Girl and She Broke my heart….. Now every piece of my heart love different girls…. People call it flirt that's Not fair…

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